From oracle-admin@cs.indiana.edu Mon Apr 15 12:58:53 2002 Received: (from daemon@localhost) by moose.cs.indiana.edu (8.11.6/8.11.6/IUCS_2.44) id g3FHRR520642; Mon, 15 Apr 2002 12:27:27 -0500 (EST) Date: Mon, 15 Apr 2002 12:27:27 -0500 (EST) From: Internet Oracle Message-Id: <200204151727.g3FHRR520642@moose.cs.indiana.edu> To: oracle-list@cs.indiana.edu Subject: Internet Oracularities #1258 Reply-To: oracle-vote@cs.indiana.edu X-Face: )/f9dPAX/dU$1Z!U(/?A PiIJvIOtcN@L.>6,2OKd."T#S7b*{feRf.Kns23^P9.Ak{GdWWv]0*1E}RJ)_idU:(5VkN*_+bB kyrnLfC12B>V/q=z32:05`EcAd.!z#3k]h)O!ZU^E"f`@),(2WT X-Planation: X-Face can be used with www.cs.indiana.edu/ftp/faces === 1258 ================================================================= Title: Internet Oracularities #1258 Compiled-By: Steve Kinzler Date: Mon, 15 Apr 2002 12:27:14 -0500 (EST) To find out all about the Internet Oracle (TM), including how to participate, send mail to oracle@cs.indiana.edu with the word "help" in the subject line. ("Internet Oracle" is a trademark of Stephen B Kinzler.) Let us know what you like! Send your ratings of these 10 Oracularities on an integer scale of 1 ("very bad") to 5 ("very good") with the volume number to oracle-vote@cs.indiana.edu (probably just reply to this message). For example: 1258 2 1 3 4 3 5 3 3 4 1 1253 59 votes 3aep7 3emj1 4gmg1 8abic 38aik 8oh82 4asd4 cfhc3 agce7 9hh97 1253 3.0 mean 3.4 3.0 2.9 3.3 3.7 2.5 3.1 2.6 2.9 2.8 --- 1258-01 -------------------------------------------------------------- Selected-By: "Joshua R. Poulson" The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > Wise Oracle most discerning, > > How can I tell a fake idea from a real one? And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } Check the bottom for 'Real Idea' mark. If it there it's real. --- 1258-02 -------------------------------------------------------------- Selected-By: Ken McGlothlen The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > How much wo > > Oww! What the hell was that? > > ood would a > > Hey! What the hell???? > > woodch > ...? And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } My work here is done. --- 1258-03 -------------------------------------------------------------- Selected-By: MVSOPEN@aol.com The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > O Oraculo, chi fa tutto nella cucina (even chopping > the tomatoes), tell me... > > Somebody told me to go take a hot bath, so naturally I > lathered up with butter, olive oil, and anchovies. > Curiously, my girlfriend gave me a tongue bath and > then kicked me out of bed and told me to take a > shower, telling me I've been cooking way too much > Italian food lately. I considered it and figured she > was right, and went and took a shower like she said. > > My question is, if getting a hot bath and a bagna > cauda confused happens when you're making Italian, > what happens when you get a little too far into other cuisines? And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } WHAT TO TAKE WITH YOU INTO A HOT BATH } as influenced by world cuisines } } Chinese: I don't know, but *not* a yellow river } French: escargot, live } Greek: a Trojan } Indian: anything that will curry her favor } Jewish: matza balls } Welsh: a leek --- 1258-04 -------------------------------------------------------------- Selected-By: "Joshua R. Poulson" The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > /me ponders if he's spending entirely too much time on IRC. And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } /invite suplicant #life } } /kick #oracle suplicant } } /quit I think I'll take my own advice for a change. --- 1258-05 -------------------------------------------------------------- Selected-By: Christophe The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > >_< :| >_> <_< And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } I really love watching Lord of the Rings 3 on video before it has } even been cut. Being an all-knowing Oracle sure has its perks. } } Now, press rewind, and I'll just watch it again. --- 1258-06 -------------------------------------------------------------- Selected-By: Klone (aka Daniel V Klein) The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > Grand and tumultuous Oracle, I lower my fingernails in deference > to your Mighty Nose, which would put Cyrano to shame. You sure > know how to pick 'em! > > Who Nose What Evil? Lurks in the hearts? Of men? And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } The Shadow Nose, or rather the Shadow breaks noses. } } [snip!] } In deciding the somewhat complicated case--Zanger sued Baldwin for } assault, the actor countersued for invasion of privacy--the jury } decided that Zanger was 25 percent responsible for the incident. Thus, } his $6,000 award was reduced to $4,500--a lot less than the } $200,000-plus he was seeking for medical bills and lost wages. } } Jurors, who deliberated for two days over the weekend, also determined } that the Malice star didn't act with malice during the incident. } } Baldwin wasn't awarded any damages for the negligence ruling, but the } absence of malice verdict probably means he won't have to deal with } Alan Zanger in a courtroom again. If the jury had ruled that Baldwin } intentionally set out to hurt the cameraman, Zanger would have been } eligible to sue for punitive damages. } } Baldwin's lawyer said the actor was "ecstatic" over the outcome. } } As for the widely reported incident, it took place in front of } Baldwin's Woodland Hills, California, home, when he and wife Kim } Basinger were bringing home their newborn baby girl from the hospital. } } Baldwin approached the camper where Zanger was camped out and sprayed } shaving cream over all the windows. } } A scuffle ensued: Zanger says Baldwin punched him and broke his nose; } the actor says he merely slapped the camera out of his hands. } } In any event, the 40-year-old Baldwin took the stand last week and said } he and Basinger feared for their lives when they noticed Zanger parked } in front of their home. The actor added that the couple's special day } was "irreparably ruined" by the altercation. } } After the jury's verdict, Zanger said he was "sorry it happened on a } day [the actor] was bringing his baby home." } } Still, he has no plans on changing his method of operation. "I didn't } jump in his face," the shutterbug said. } [snip!] } } You owe the Oracle a paparrazi with mushrooms and extra cheese. --- 1258-07 -------------------------------------------------------------- Selected-By: Klone (aka Daniel V Klein) The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > O most cool beans laden Oracle, can you tell me why Apple decided > to make their French keyboard layout incapable of creating the | > character? And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } In France, they prefer to use aqueducts instead of pipes. } } Okay, seriously. It's Option-Shift-L. } } You can find out yourself by selecting the Key Caps accessory (Apple } menu -> Accessories -> Key Caps) and fiddling with the meta keys Shift, } Option/Alt, and Command. } } You owe the Oracle a polite Frenchman, or a humble American, whichever } you think is harder to find. --- 1258-08 -------------------------------------------------------------- Selected-By: Klone (aka Daniel V Klein) The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > Wise Oracle, > > Do ashes feel pain? And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } Ashk the little kid who jusht got shpanked. --- 1258-09 -------------------------------------------------------------- Selected-By: nolan@celery.tssi.com The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > Oh Great and memorable Oracle, how come I can never remember any of the > questions I want to ask you when I sit down at my computer? And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } Rats, I hoped you wouldn't remember to ask that. --- 1258-10 -------------------------------------------------------------- Selected-By: Ian Davis The Internet Oracle has pondered your question deeply. Your question was: > Oh Great and world-Knowledgeable Oracle, Why are modern-day citizens > of Israel called Israelis and not Israelites? And in response, thus spake the Oracle: } They aren't afraid of a few added calories.